The topic this week was "Magnificent Me." The location was Weight Watchers. Saturday mornings in Boston in the basement function room of the Holiday Inn, Tara leads the discussion of the previous week's triumphs, failures, frustrations, and general humor on food and consumption. Now anyone seeing me on the street would never guess that I go to these meetings. In fact, the only people who know are my husband (still getting use to that!), my friend Rachel who accompanies me to the meetings, and the group. In many ways I am an outsider to this club. Ironic considering that most of the attendees feel as though they are exiled in the greater community. So why do I go? Why do I "pretend"to be an over-eater and someone who has or needs to lose a significant amount of weight?
The answer is simple. Like most Americans, I do not have excellent dieting habits. Growing up my mother did not always prepare home cook meals. In fact, as my brother and I reached our teenage years home cooked meals became few and far between. Perhaps it was because we were finally old enough to appreciate a good meal in a nice restaurant and old enough not to throw food or scream. But, right when I think I needed home-cooking the most, we did not have it. Now this is not going to be a grip session. In fact, I am thankful for my lack of home-cooking in many ways. Eating out allowed me to try foods my mom would probably have never made at home, thus widening my palette. Similarly, I believe it helped me to engage in small talk, table manners, and got me interested in being a foodie. What I lacked however were the skills to cook for myself. But, I can tell you where the best pizza spot was!
So why WW? Well, eating out has added a few extra pounds around my middle and particularly my thighs. I simply do not have the will power or determination on my own to curtail my eating habits particularly my eating-out habits. So when my friend Rachel came back to town after a 6 month leave from the city and told me she was joining Weight Watchers, I thought perfect now something will hold me accountable to myself. I had two goals, first to lose 10 pounds and second to learn how to cook. I have partially succeed in both. Currently, I am down 8 pounds and I am cooking more often, but I am definitely no Emeril.
WW is a place where I go to be anonymous. There among the group, while we wear name tags, no one knows anyone's background. We are there to talk about one thing...our obsession with food. Conversation on this Saturday discussed setting short term goals for ourselves. Something that is attainable in a day, a week, a month, a few months, and finally in a year. Tara the leader of the group, called this setting of goals the road to creating "Magnificent Me." So what will my goals be? I am not sure yet. Setting real goals post-college as been a major struggle. I like the WW challenges me to hold myself responsible to myself. I need that. For many of my cohorts the year-long goal is a significant lose of weight. Week after week, whether happy or disappointed in their weight on the scale, these men and women bare their souls to me. I am truly impressed to be a member of this group, even though I don't quite fit in. Each week they encourage each other, pass along tips, tricks, and recipes. Obesity, I thought, was the illness of the lonely and depressed. The man or woman who at the century mark of their lives was no longer inspired and therefore turned to instant gratification and the expansion of their waistline. While this is cruel of me to write, I feel the need to be honest about my misconception. Obesity is about so many things, it is about losing your job, finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, managing a family, getting a new job, having an illness in one's family, graduating college, it is about not quite knowing how to cope with the mess/joy life throws at you.
WW is really no different from any other support group. Some people spend thousands of dollars on therapy or personal coaching. Others on nannies, school, or cleaning assistants. It is about finding the support you need in order to trek through this maze we call life. WW truly seeks to help you, and it encourages you to get closer to your "Magnificent Me," and to learn how to enjoy food in a more healthy way. I guess until the day we die we must continue to build upon these skills. There is no class taught on how to manage a family of four, a full time job, and cooking healthy meals every night. But, WW is at least one venue to help you when the stress or the pressure from your belt buckle gets to tight.
Hopefully, what I will take from this experience on the inside of support, is realizing that yes, I can lose my 10 pounds, yes, I can introduce real cooking into my life, and yes, I need to figure out what makes me "Magnificent Me." It is only in discovering our passion through experience that we discover ourselves. And, I am not there yet....
