New Direction

Since starting this blog, its primary goal has been miscellany.  And while I enjoy this as it allows me to just blog what I feel, it is also a detriment.  Without a clear focus, I don't always blog very consistently. But, there are SO many blogs out there: blogs for cooking, cleaning, being young and married, being teachers, photography, and everything in between.  Therefore miscellany has been my not so focused focus.

Yet, it is time for some more consistency and a new direction. Yesterday, it came. While walking downtown in Boston and eating lunch in the Garden, I received a call from my doctor.  Holding my breath, she told me that I had a second abnormal pap smear. She was very nonchalant about it, "Just come in for another pap in 6 months and if it is abnormal again we will do a colposcopy."  A procedure I have already endured with my previous abnormal pap. This is a lovely exam in which the gynecologist looks at the cervix under a microscope and if needed performs a biopsy.  Thankfully, when I went for this more invasive exam last year, there were so few "abnormal" cells that there was not enough to biopsy.  I felt this was wonderful news at the time and I experienced so much relief.

Now this relief is gone.  HOW DID I GET ANOTHER ABNORMAL RESULT? WHY ME?  Well upon a little research over 3 million American Women have also heard this news. Yet, while I am one of many women and this should comfort me, I feel completely disconnected from my own body and powerless.  I am suppose to merely wait until January for yet another test which will or will not show abnormal cells.  But, I want something more.  I want to be able to be active in my own healthcare and to take charge of a part of my body I don't really feel nor have I ever seen.

That is why, I have decided to make a life-change. In a few articles I have read, which I will post in more depth over the next few days and weeks, it has been proven that diet helps with cervical dysplasia. I am going to cut out all processed food from my diet, I will eat 4-5 servings of fruit and vegetables a day, I will aim to make my food from scratch whenever I can, I will increase my intake of vitamins particularly folic acid, and I will try some homeopathy. And, this blog, along with my miscellany, will also help me document and stay honest to these new goals I have set for myself and for my health. I don't ever want to be told I have cancer....but, that may be impossible to guarantee. What I can guarantee is that I will do everything in my power to make myself healthy and food-conscious in order to increase my chances of a long life cervical cancer free. Along the way, I am sure it will be hard, I will slip, I will forget, I will despise this choice, but I will document it all: the good, the bad, the ugly.  And, hopefully in January, instead of feeling dis-empowered, I will feel empowered and be a pretty good cook too!