Sky Diving

I went sky diving.  This was not something on my bucket list.  No, I never had any intention of flying through the air unless it was inside the aluminum tube descendant of the Wright Flyer. How then did I end up there?

The week before the fateful day, David and our friends Alex and Mark made a reservation to sky dive in Chattam.  Of course, being the ever wonderful husband, David asked me to join him on his adventure. And since I had so recently changed my last name to his, he would even pay for the flight as a sort of "birthday present."  Paralyzed in fear, I remember saying, "Are you crazy? This is NO birthday gift for me! HaHa no no no you go right ahead.  I will drive you and the others there and take all of the pictures from the ground."

Finally that Saturday arrived.  It was a long time ago. July 16, 2011 we woke up early, drove to pick up Alex, Tommy, and Mark and hit the highway. All along the way, I thought "Thank goodness I am not sky diving today.  Otherwise this drive would have me in such a nervous state!"  The car ride down was such a blast.  We joked and laughed all the way.  It was so light-hearted.  We kidded how I had worn flip-flops intentionally so I could not be forced to go.  But, then suddenly the conversation changed.  Instead of joking about how scared everyone was and how totally crazy this plan was, the conversation turned to how amazing it will be to confront life's greatest fear!  Then I felt it. Was I somehow not brave enough to confront this fear?  Was I being a wimp?  Could I have it in me to do this? Could I throw myself out of plane at 11,000 ft?

Yes, somehow a wave of courage hit me. Perhaps, it was contact courage from sitting with my brave husband and my brave friends.  Perhaps, it was my new sense of control and my desire to attack my cervical dyplasia head on.  Perhaps, it was sheer insanity on my part.  But, suddenly there I was filling in the paper work.  On the front page was an image of a sky-diver falling to his death. Death Death Death was written on the front and back of every waiver sheet.  I signed my name next to each one. Did I hesitate? Yes, my pen trembled in my hand as I asked myself one last time, “Are you sure?” My response: walking up to the counter and watching David pay my way.

Mark was the first of us to go.  I could not get over how brave he was.  Without even looking back he walked on board the Cessna 172 and took off.  Twenty minutes later he landed safely, followed by Alex and Tommy.  Somehow when they strapped me in to my harness, the next to go, I was not afraid.  I remember thinking to myself, “Wow you are calm.” I remember vividly kissing David and asking him to wait for me outside.  It was so hot out there next to the runway that some of our group had begun sitting inside of the trailer for a break from the heat.

There was no seat for me on the plane.  Instead I sat on the carpet with my back to the pilot as we made our steep ascent. Looking out the windows as the Cape came into view and Nantucket, I could not help but be overcome by the beauty of New England.  Absorbed in my own thoughts of this, it was terrifying when my tandem partner turned to me and said, “Ok get on your knees so we can strap together.”  Instantly the blood rushed to my head.  We crawled strapped together to knee parallel to our exit door.  My head felt fuzzy and my mouth dry.  I was filled with unease and mad at myself for getting this far. "What was I thinking?!?" The last thing I remember was my heart beating in my ears.

The wind rushed with a loud noise and at an unimaginable force. Pinned to the floor by fear, panic set in. My tandem partner was so matter-of-fact.  In the fog of my mind he told me to hold onto my harness to lift my head, arch my back, and enjoy the ride.  I barely heard him. Stretching my leg to the ledge, it blew past my target in the wind only stopped by my tandem partner who helped me to place it.  This was the moment I knew I could not turn back, yet I was still somehow in denial.  Was I really going to jump out of this thing? Tumbling head-first from the Cessna was a lot like being on a roller coaster.  You know that you are in mid-flip and yet somehow you cannot feel the flip. Floating through the air, looking at the horizon line, and focusing on breathing as the air rushed into my nose, ears, and mouth, I screamed.  I felt as if all of the stress that wound its way around every muscle of my body burst out of me with my screams. I was invincible.

The parachute ride was the scariest part. Convinced that the chute would collapse in on itself at any point, I enjoyed the drop more than the ride. Regardless, once on the ground, I was more proud of myself than I have ever been in my life.  I had just done something that terrified me and I felt empowered to take on any and all challenges that would come. There is nothing I cannot do. Nothing.  And, David, my darling husband, shared in this experience with me. I suppose we are not such boring married people after all =)